假如上帝使用留言

 

What If God Had Voice Mail.....

 

Most of us have now learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessity, But have you ever wondered what it would be like if God had Voice Mail?

 

Imagine praying and hearing the following:

 

Thank you for calling Heaven.

 

For English, Press 1.

 

For Spanish, press 2.

 

For all other languages, press 0.

 

Please select one of the following options:

 

Press 1 for Requests.

 

Press 2 for Thanksgiving.

 

Press 3 for Complaints.

 

Press 4 for all other inquiries.

 

I am sorry; all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners

 

However, your prayer is important to us, and we will answer shortly.

 

Please stay on the line.

 

If you would like to speak to:

 

God, press 1.

 

Jesus, press 2

 

Holy Spirit, press 3.

 

If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, press 4.

 

To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his or her social security number, followed by the "pound"sign.

 

If you receive a negative response, please hang up and try area code (666).

 

For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N, followed by the numbers 3-1-6.

 

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive.

 

Our computers show that you have already prayed today. Please hang up.

 

The office is now closed for the weekend so

 

Please pray again on Monday after 9:30am.

 

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.

 

Thank you, and have a heavenly day.

 

 

 

假如上帝使用留言……

 

电话留言是我们很多人熟悉的生活用品。但是,你有没有想过,假如上帝也使用留言,那情景会怎样呢?那就想象一下吧,你在祷告时,听到这样的留言:

 

谢谢您打电话到天堂来。

 

说英文,请按1。

 

说西班牙文,请按2。

 

其他语言请按0。

 

在下列项目中,请选择一项:

 

祈求事项,请按1;

 

感恩事项,请按2;

 

投诉事项,请按3;

 

其他事项,请按4。

 

您的祷告很重要,但是对不起,现在我们所有的天使和圣徒都在忙着帮助其他罪人。我们将尽快接听您的电话。请不要挂断。

 

如果您想和天父通话,请按1。

 

和耶稣通话,请按2。

 

和圣灵通话,请按3。

 

如果您想在等待期间听大卫王吟唱诗篇,请按4。

 

如果您想寻找在天堂的亲人,请按5,之后输入他/她的社会安全号码,然后按井号键。如果您找不到人,请挂断重拨,区号(666)。(注:地狱的号码)

 

如果您要在预定天堂,请输入“J-O-H-N”,之后,输入号码3-1-6。(注:约翰福音三章16节)

 

如果您要询问有关恐龙、地球的年龄、外星生命、诺亚方舟的位置等问题,请您耐心等待,来到天堂后就会有答案。

 

我们的电脑显示,您今天已经做过祷告,请挂机。

 

周末我们不办公。请在周一上午9:30以后再祷告。如果您有紧急情况需要协助,请与您们的牧师联系。

 

谢谢。祝您愉快。

 

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